Oh my God, this poor woman

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 09/28/2015 at 20:04 • Filed to: not a car

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I’m at the bank, standing in the feeder line, and there’s this guy in his maybe early sixties in front of me. I get a strange vibe so I whip out my phone and pretend to be doing something. He looked at me but i didn’t budge. Someone else wasn’t so lucky.

Full line here, and the man taps on this woman’s shoulder: “Excuse me miss, but you wouldn’t happen to be German would you?”

She politely replies, “Um, no, no.”

“WELL ONE TIME I WAS IN GERMANY WITH MY WIFE AND MY SON AND DID YOU KNOW THAT GERMANS STAND IN LINE AWFULLY CLOSE AND MY SON FELT AWKWARD WHAT IS IT WITH OTHER CULTURES I’M TALKING SO LOUD NOW THIS ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE CAN HEAR ME HOORAY”

She was caught off guard, “We’ll oh uh huh, interesting. I ah hear in Japan people do this —”

“WELL I DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT HAVE YOU BEEN TO JAPAN LET ME TELL YOU I GUESS HERP DERP BUHHHHHH”

She eventually turned around.

He looked back at me.

Nope.

Writing this post instead.

GeorgeyBoy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 20:19

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Who the heck goes to banks anymore

SVTyler > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 20:27

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I hate dudes like that, why can’t you just awkwardly stand in line in complete silence like the rest of us dammit. The Nordic countries have it nailed down:

djmt1 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 20:35

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This sort of queue etiquette would be punishable by disapproving tutting in England.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > SVTyler 09/28/2015 at 20:38

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The worst part was she was just screwed. He sounded so sure that she was German (she didn’t look remotely “German”) that when she said no it wasn’t going to stop him from whatever he had pent up.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > GeorgeyBoy 09/28/2015 at 20:46

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People who work there?

Birddog > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 20:48

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Awesome instincts!

I usually get the Gym lunks.

“Do you lift?! You look like you powerlift!”

Uh, no. Just built like this, my lifting is usually 12oz at a time.

“Dude! You need to lift! You’re wasting a good body for it!”

Uhm.. Thanks? No.

SVTyler > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 20:51

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Yeah as soon as the poor girl responded it was over, those people will just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on regardless of what you say to them because they live in their own little world.

GeorgeyBoy > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 09/28/2015 at 20:54

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Those poor people.

luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 21:21

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This seems appropriate.

marshknute > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2015 at 22:09

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A friend of mine has a foolproof way of dealing with people like this: He listens to the first part of their rant, then responds incredibly loudly/enthusiastically, “OH MY GAWD!!! YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!?!!@!!$!@?!

Then he just lays down on the ground in a fetal position and pretends to go to sleep.

It hasn’t failed him yet...